Misery.

I accepted it a long time ago that I am not the person people will want. I am that person people have when they have nowhere to go or are bored. I am not counted in. I am not invited. I am not called for. I am just there to fill the space so that they don't realise the missing link. I am there so that they can joke about me. I'm never needed. I am never wanted. I cannot help it I cannot become someone they want. I promised myself that I will never be that person who refuses to help others but how can my sad little heart still get upset over this. It's something I wanted for myself and swore that I won't be like others. The world is cruel and I pledged that I won't be, not to others not towards myself, but I still can't help feeling a little bit miserable. Always someone who just gets used as a backup not as a main one. It might seem that I can't make friends but the problem is not about making friends. I have friends whom I have known individually for my whole life but that's it. I'm never important when it comes to a group. I am just a friend who fills of the space so that don't feel the void. It's a misery that I make myself go through. I wish I wasn't that of a people person. I wish I was someone important too.